Wednesday, February 18, 2009 @ 7:02 PM If it takes shit to make bliss, well I feel pretty blissfully..
There's no getting to know me, just know, I'll never know myself. I change my mind before I figure it out. I know what I want but I know I don't want to want it. I misuse self denial as my discipline. I keep myself in check in order to be an all around people pleaser. I don't form opinions on things I don't feel the need to, and my teachers may not ever understand that. You may never understand that. One of these days, just one of them, I would like to really share what's on my mind. I don't want to be a disappointment. But what can you do. You can only be content. All these beliefs are ruining me.
"And how do you know you're not just a figment of someone's imagination? How do you know this isn't really but someone's dream? That you never lived this day, that this never really happened, and how do you know the here and the now is really here and now, not there and then? What if, this all never happened at all and it's all simply something someone made up in their mind, and to us, this masterpiece of a planned out word is nothing more then chemical reactions? Oh how lonely it all seems now. Good day, smoke and skin, imagine more."
MEET HADIJAH! My Bestfriend for 4 years during secondary school. muahahaha as you can see shes fustrated with me because i spam her tagboard haha! and OBVIOUSLY in that picture she's yelling my name ''ADI'' hahahaha yeah ijah i know, i love you too HAHAHAHAHAHA you can stop yelling at me desperately . Oh man, i miss those days and yeah btw if theres one person i would never forget for my entire life in this world, is IJAH. All because i have a scar mark on my leg cause it happen at her house which i pierced tru her dad fish tank and the tank broke and two piece of glasses went straight into my knee, till today i have two ugly scars on my knee.
AND ITS FUCKING BIG. THANKS EH NURHADIJAH BINTE MALIK! -.-
FINALLY! Got my pictures from him. Steven Lai, 24 from San Francisco, US. He came to Singapore last month for vacation. Met him, he stayed over at my place for 3 days. We had soo much fun together, especially the fish spa, as he wanted to do it badly because he cant find any fish spa in San Francisco. Yes he's a model too and he also design for his own clothing, and he will be appearing on Project Runway the next coming season, soo keep a watch out and dont miss him, hes incredibly amazing and cute hahaha. I miss him already.
Wednesday, February 18, 2009 @ 7:02 PM If it takes shit to make bliss, well I feel pretty blissfully..
There's no getting to know me, just know, I'll never know myself. I change my mind before I figure it out. I know what I want but I know I don't want to want it. I misuse self denial as my discipline. I keep myself in check in order to be an all around people pleaser. I don't form opinions on things I don't feel the need to, and my teachers may not ever understand that. You may never understand that. One of these days, just one of them, I would like to really share what's on my mind. I don't want to be a disappointment. But what can you do. You can only be content. All these beliefs are ruining me.
"And how do you know you're not just a figment of someone's imagination? How do you know this isn't really but someone's dream? That you never lived this day, that this never really happened, and how do you know the here and the now is really here and now, not there and then? What if, this all never happened at all and it's all simply something someone made up in their mind, and to us, this masterpiece of a planned out word is nothing more then chemical reactions? Oh how lonely it all seems now. Good day, smoke and skin, imagine more."
MEET HADIJAH! My Bestfriend for 4 years during secondary school. muahahaha as you can see shes fustrated with me because i spam her tagboard haha! and OBVIOUSLY in that picture she's yelling my name ''ADI'' hahahaha yeah ijah i know, i love you too HAHAHAHAHAHA you can stop yelling at me desperately . Oh man, i miss those days and yeah btw if theres one person i would never forget for my entire life in this world, is IJAH. All because i have a scar mark on my leg cause it happen at her house which i pierced tru her dad fish tank and the tank broke and two piece of glasses went straight into my knee, till today i have two ugly scars on my knee.
AND ITS FUCKING BIG. THANKS EH NURHADIJAH BINTE MALIK! -.-
FINALLY! Got my pictures from him. Steven Lai, 24 from San Francisco, US. He came to Singapore last month for vacation. Met him, he stayed over at my place for 3 days. We had soo much fun together, especially the fish spa, as he wanted to do it badly because he cant find any fish spa in San Francisco. Yes he's a model too and he also design for his own clothing, and he will be appearing on Project Runway the next coming season, soo keep a watch out and dont miss him, hes incredibly amazing and cute hahaha. I miss him already.
Although it's against my best judgment, I'm a dreamer.
I'm a hopeless idealist. I see good in even the most evil things.
I find faith and hope in humanity,
where everyone around me finds disgust and hatred and disunity.
I believe the world is what we make of it. I
believe in self-fulfilling prophecies.
I believe in people, because they don't even believe in themselves.
The world is amazing, if you want it to be.
I'm a young boy, but I'm far from being a teenager.
I made my mistakes and learned my lessons long before most people can even fathom.
I've learned to love my intelligence, and I prefer to remain inebriated in my own brilliance,
not by substance and people. I'm as open as the oceans, sometimes, just as deep.
Questions are hard for me to answer, and explanations are as rocky as the mountains in which I was raised.
Silence and nature go hand in hand. You've never met someone so quiet who can be so loud.
The public is my friend, and strangers are my favourite. My audience staring intently as I stage my act.
Only fools act, and I never said I wasn't one. I don't like unintelligent people,
but I front too much to take up with geniuses. I simply bask in their ambiance. I'm the outcast, the uncertain.
What do I know? I know I am the earth, you use me, and use me, and never appreciate,
you never take the time to love or thank. But I am the Earth, I'm used to it, so it's okay.
I am the Earth, someday I'll have enough.
